![]() ![]() There is a sock stealing monster and it’s you! Cheers! Throw out one of each family member’s socks due to sizable holes and vitriol. This specific wine has been paired to cut the bitterness of hand scrubbing your husband’s boxers. Take care not to spill your pairing, which you lovingly note is the same persistent burgundy shade as many of the stains that besiege you. ![]() Scoop them up and cram them into the washing machine while whistling Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive and entering the witness protection program online. Look on the bleached side: your childhood dream of running a zoo has actually come true! It appears that in recognizing you still have a pulse, your family has lovingly placed all their soiled garments approximately four inches away from the laundry basket. Your home has more dirty laundry than a Facebook timeline! It has become clear to you that there are hurdles along the sidewalk to sanitation. Also, now is a great time to start saving up for a lung job. Great skill must be taken not to douse the floor with your bubbly wine pairing while engaging in this highly physical chore. If you are feeling playful, you might gently attach the family parakeets to your long johns and rampage through the house while indulging in your best Julie Andrews alpine twirling. Using a microfiber cloth or your shih tzu, unleash plumes of dust, baby formula and cocaine from their resting places. Realize you have misplaced your hazmat suit and settle for your husband’s long johns and a rubber unicorn head mask. Vacuum Wine Pairing: Monkey Bay Sauvignon Blanc 2014ĭon hazmat suit. Don’t forget to tweet about how exhausted you are. Now is an excellent time to binge watch Netflix or research eggplant recipes on Pinterest. Note: If you own a Roomba, gently press its circular on button and park your fart box on the couch to enjoy your wine pairing. Most importantly, suck up your delicious and carefully selected wine pairing. Suck up anything that impedes your holy trail to tidiness including shoes, raccoons, 187 feet of phone charger cords, and deplorable wedding gifts. Your other hand should be expertly clutching your vacuum wine pairing. Using one hand only, furtively whisk it across the furry wasteland while in operational mode. Gingerly wrestle the vacuum cleaner from its cave-the one that remains mysteriously invisible to the entire family except you. ![]()
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